I See "IT"

"IT" is right there in front of me all of the damn time, I just dont know how to portray "IT" as a physical thing that makes sense, makes money and is totally fun to do at the same time.  I need help for making "IT" work as a whole and as a thing that makes perfect sense and makes people feel the same way that I feel when I read and partake in anything that Penny Arcade produces from their god like bowles.  In a sense I kind of idolize the two men who took their idea and made it into this multimedia monster that any fan boy would be glad to sacrafice themselves to in order to make this monster even bigger.  Hell, I would even do its luandry and dry cleaning... Im just sayin.  They seem to have it sooooooooo right all of the time.  And im sure that there are people out there in the world that are dissatisfied with what they produce and im pretty sure that they are devoid of all emotion what so ever(THATS A FACT).  I actually have a sister who works for the Childrens Hospital in Seattle, the same one that Child's Play helps out by sending video games and all that stuff and matter to.  When she told me of this I made her promise to get an autograph for me from either both of them or just one of them if she ever saw them in that hosptital or in the vicinity.  I told her I would kill her if she did not, I felt that was justified.

So I have decided to go back to school to get a kind of "Degree".  I will be giving the school system my money once again in order to make myself into a better "worker"(I am using a lot of quotations and am starting to kind of piss myself off).  I am looking to get my AA in business in order to become higher up in the casino heirarchy, this will happen, I WILL BE YOUR BOSS!!!!!!  The onyl thing is that for the fall semester I kind of have to take a little nothing class in order to get a better registration date for the Spring Semester.  So I have decided to take Tennis and I will destroy all in that class to the point that they do not want to be in said class anymore.  I AM THE TENNIS KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A plan worth NOTE

I have been thinking about what I really want in life, mainly to due with music and the future plans that I have made with myself.  I'm not intirely sure that I want to play the type of music I am playing right now, the only bad thing about coming into a new band that already has a shit tone of materiel is that they only want to play their stuff that has been previously written via their tireless effort, blood, sweat and tears.  I don't know if I want to play "their" music, I want to make it into "our"music.  I want to make a collaborative effort to make music that we have all had a part in and not just the four guys who were there before me.  Their music is not bad, I just want to have a better connection to the music that we play at shows, I want to be pissed off if I fuck up a part because it had my emotions into it, not just act all funny about it and shrug it off.

One thing I really want to do is to write my own music, I want to really write a concept album about the rapture and the events taking place after but in the eye's of one mans perspective.  I really regret never learning to play an instrument, that would have been a far useful tool to help with all of my creative issues.  Instead I have to rely on others for this effort.  I would much rather rely on myself since it is so hard to portray my feelings and how i want the music to sound if I am not the one playing it.  Unfortunately now I am just complaining and I really have no desire to do that on this blog as of now.

So I guess I am at a cross roads musically, I will talk to the guys and see what they want to do, I hope that they are down to write new stuff cause I really really REALLY!!!!!!!!!!! would like to play music in which I can call my own, SO VERY BADLY!!!!!!!!

Past and Present

I was thinking about the past tonight and it got me wondering...
If you could go back in time would you actually change anything in the past to make things go the way you wanted at the time that it went bad or would you just relive those moments in hopes of not fucking up the future that you had before you went back in time?

The reason why I bring this up is cause I sometiems contemplate this topic.  I know that if for some reason I got sent back in time to relive my past events I would not change anything cause at the present I have everything that I already want that I didnt even know I wanted at the point int he past.  Gah this is confusing even me lol.  Of course this topic of time travel is based on if you went back in time and were simply transported to your body at that time with all of the knowledge that you have gained before you were sent back in time.

So basically you would either have to do everything the exact same way that you did before or just try to gain everything that you had int he future right away by bypassing all of the shitty events in between.  Which would you choose on this matter?

I have a plan now, a plan for the future.  its a 3 to 4 year plan as of now and may end up being a bit longer but in the end it will all be for the greater good.  I just have to hold steady and see this plan to fruition and hope for the best.  If I can accompish everything in this plan it should make life a lot easier and bring myself and my family to a much better place financially and area wise as well.  Plus I will really get to wear a suit everyday and just be the BOSS.