A plan worth NOTE

I have been thinking about what I really want in life, mainly to due with music and the future plans that I have made with myself.  I'm not intirely sure that I want to play the type of music I am playing right now, the only bad thing about coming into a new band that already has a shit tone of materiel is that they only want to play their stuff that has been previously written via their tireless effort, blood, sweat and tears.  I don't know if I want to play "their" music, I want to make it into "our"music.  I want to make a collaborative effort to make music that we have all had a part in and not just the four guys who were there before me.  Their music is not bad, I just want to have a better connection to the music that we play at shows, I want to be pissed off if I fuck up a part because it had my emotions into it, not just act all funny about it and shrug it off.

One thing I really want to do is to write my own music, I want to really write a concept album about the rapture and the events taking place after but in the eye's of one mans perspective.  I really regret never learning to play an instrument, that would have been a far useful tool to help with all of my creative issues.  Instead I have to rely on others for this effort.  I would much rather rely on myself since it is so hard to portray my feelings and how i want the music to sound if I am not the one playing it.  Unfortunately now I am just complaining and I really have no desire to do that on this blog as of now.

So I guess I am at a cross roads musically, I will talk to the guys and see what they want to do, I hope that they are down to write new stuff cause I really really REALLY!!!!!!!!!!! would like to play music in which I can call my own, SO VERY BADLY!!!!!!!!